


Defying Social Convention

by AmberFyre, devilswreckedchewtoy (AmberFyre)



Series: Transformations [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Foursome - M/M/M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Season/Series 06 AU, Psychic Bond, Season/Series 06, Soul Bond, Team Free Love, Team Free Will, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2017-11-20 16:25:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/587381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberFyre/pseuds/AmberFyre, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberFyre/pseuds/devilswreckedchewtoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Defying social convention was what the Winchesters did.  They were hunters, killing things most humans could never imagine existed.  They were brothers, closer than most, raised by a father obsessed with vengeance.  And they were lovers.  Major social taboo.</p><p>But they didn’t care what society at large cared about them.  They had each other.</p><p>Of course, why stop there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Defying Social Convention

**Author's Note:**

> _A reposting of the first fic I ever posted here under a new pseud. Originally posted December 2012._
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> This is actually my second fanfic. I hope you enjoy it!
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> Was beta'd by my lovely daughter RiverSong1112 who can also be found on tumblr at http://fanficsbyraine.tumblr.com/Supernatural. Should definitely check her out!
> 
> As goes without saying, only the story is mine, all characters belong to the writers and creators of Supernatural. Written for love not money.

     Dean and Castiel stood inside the panic room at Bobby’s looking at Sam sleep in silence.  Sam’s sleep was restless; he tossed and turned and writhed and his face was etched with pain.

     “Tell me you can fix this, Cas.”

     Dean looked at Cas, his green eyes begging for Cas to tell him he could fix it.

     Cas stepped over to the bed and placed two fingers on Sam’s temple and closed his eyes.  After a long moment he sighed heavily and looked up at Dean.  There was sadness and regret in his oh-so-blue eyes.

     “There is nothing I can do.  Raphael destroyed the wall.  There is nothing to rebuild and I am not powerful enough to create a new one.”

     Dean looked at Sam feeling tears rise in his eyes.

     This couldn’t happen, damnit!  After everything they’d done, all the battles they’d fought, to see Sam held prisoner by memories from the cage…Dean felt his heart clench.

     Castiel stood and approached Dean.

     “I’m sorry, Dean.”

     Dean just shook his head and approached the bed, sitting next to Sam.

     Castiel couldn’t stand how broken Dean looked at this moment.  Couldn’t stand that after all Sam and Dean had been forced to sacrifice, it still wasn’t over.  There had to be something he could do.

     Cas watched Dean brush hair away from Sam’s face tenderly and felt pain.  Pain for both brothers.

     “I have an idea.  I will return.”

     Cas was gone by the time Dean looked back.

     Dean frowned a little, wondering where Cas had disappeared to then looked back at Sam’s face.

     “C’mon Sammy, you gotta come back to me.”

     Dean’s voice was nothing more than a broken whisper.

     Sam didn’t respond.

 

\--- -- --- -- ---

 

     A few hours later, Dean was startled by Cas’s reappearance.  And he wasn’t alone.

     “I thought you were dead.”  Dean stared in silent shock.

     Gabriel smiled widely.  “Rumors of my demise were highly exaggerated.  Glad you missed me.”

     Dean stared at Gabriel as he stood and then turned to Cas.

     “This was your idea?  This guy’s been gunning for us for a long damn time.”

     “Hey, I came to save your asses from Luci some time back.  At great risk to myself I might add.”  Gabriel sounded hurt, but he smirked when he finished talking.

     Dean glared at Gabriel and looked back at Cas.

     “What’s the deal, Cas?  Why’d you bring him here?”

     Cas looked back and forth between Gabriel and Dean.  He hadn’t expected the level of animosity Dean showed towards Gabriel.  Cas knew that Gabriel could be a lot of trouble, had been a lot of trouble for the boys, but he had also thought Gabriel’s sacrifice for them would have cleared the air.

     Clearly, he was wrong.

     He stepped closer to Dean.  “Gabriel is an archangel.  He is more powerful than I am.  If there is anyone who may be able to help Sam, it is him.  I know of no other solution.”

     Dean stared at Cas for a long moment before running his hand over his face and looking suspiciously at Gabriel.  Gabriel wore an expression that looked more impish than innocent.

     Then Dean looked at Sam, who still hadn’t woken up since Raphael bulldozed his wall.  He sighed deeply.

     “If you can help Sammy, I’m willing to forgive you anything,” Dean said heavily.  The pain and loss that flickered over Dean’s face sobered Gabriel.  He’d known the brothers were stuck on each other, but he hadn’t actually seen it in action before.  Dean looked like he had lost half of himself, the good half.

     Gabriel approached the bed from the other side, watching Sam toss and turn restlessly.  He took in the pained frown and found himself wishing he could see Sam’s green-hazel eyes.  He shoved that thought away and leaned over to touch Sam’s head.

     Dean stared at Sam then looked at Gabriel.  “Can you help?”

     Gabriel had pulled his fingers back but was staring at Sam’s face.  He almost didn’t hear Dean’s question, but he definitely felt Dean reach across and poke him.  When he looked at Dean, Dean’s green eyes were a little hostile and Gabriel felt himself flush, realizing he’d been caught staring.

      Gabriel looked away from Dean’s green eyes into Castiel’s bright blue ones.  Cas looked hopeful.  Gabriel sighed.

     “Well, I can’t put the wall back.  Castiel’s right, it’s just rubble.  Nothing left to build with.  And I don’t think I could create a wall that could contain everything Sam’s soul went through in the cage with Lucifer and Michael.  Even pagan gods have limits.”

     The hopeful look in Cas’s blue eyes faded and Dean went back to staring at Sam’s tortured face.

     “But, I think I might have an idea that would work.  It depends on how much you want to save your beloved Sammy.”

     Dean’s eyes flew to Gabriel’s.  “I would do anything.  I would think you guys would know that by now.”

     “You two do have a tendency to fling yourself into the fire for each other, I know that.”

     Gabriel’s voice was mocking but Dean didn’t let it get to him.  If Gabriel had a way to save Sammy he could mock till the cows came home.  “What’s this idea you have?”

     Gabriel looked away from Dean towards Cas.  Cas had drifted closer to Dean and was looking back and forth between Sam and Dean.

     Gabriel almost shook his head.  Boy, his little brother really had it bad for these Winchesters.  It was one of the reasons he came in the first place.  Castiel had actually begged and Gabriel couldn’t ever remember seeing Cas so torn up.  Maybe it didn’t show in the expressions on his human face, but it was in his eyes.  How could the Winchesters be so blind as not to see it?

     Well, they didn’t often look beyond the other so Gabriel wasn’t surprised Cas was still on the outside looking in.  It could be an utterly frustrating feeling dealing with the brothers.  He’d certainly felt frustrated enough.

     Gabriel did shake his head then.  He was drifting away from the current situation.  Besides, if he couldn’t figure help Sam it was all pointless anyway.

     Gabriel looked at Dean seriously, something he usually avoided when possible.  The looking serious part not the looking at Dean part.

     “You probably aren’t going to like it,” Gabriel said.

     “Just tell me already, damnit!  Sammy’s trapped and I don’t want to fucking argue with you.  I want him safe.”

     Gabriel could tell Dean was trying, and failing, not to hope.  He almost felt bad for Dean.  Well, no he did feel bad for Dean.  He knew about seeing someone you loved hurting.

     Gabriel’s hazel eyes glanced back towards Sam’s tortured face.  Then he turned back to meet Dean’s almost hopeful green eyes.

     “A psychic bond could help Sam keep a foothold in reality.”

     Dean frowned and looked at Sam.  Then he looked suspiciously at Gabriel.

     “Somehow I don’t see you sticking around just for Sam’s well being.”

     That stung Gabriel, even if he knew he kind of deserved it.  After all he’d been more a pain in the Winchester’s backsides than anything.  Still…

    “I can’t always be here, no.  I’m not suggesting a bond between me and Sam.  Or rather, not **just** me and Sam.”

     Gabriel looked at Castiel while Dean frowned again.  Cas’s blue eyes were slightly wider than usual, which translated into astonishment.  He looked from Sam to Dean and back to Gabriel.

     Gabriel looked back at Dean and spoke while the frown was still furrowing Dean’s brow.

     “I’m suggesting a bond between you and Sam and Cas and me.  That gives Sam his lover and brother and two angels to help carry the load and keep him in touch with reality and at least one of us will always be able to hang around just in case.”

     Dean was already shaking his head.  He was pretty sure he didn’t want to be bonded to Gabriel.  He wasn’t even sure he **liked** Gabriel.  And now he was suggesting a freaking psychic bond?  What the hell?

     Then he looked over at Sam.  Sam was still tossing restlessly and was muttering under his breath.

     Dean took a deep breath and looked at Cas.  “Does this sound like it would work, Cas?”

     Castiel looked a little startled to even be consulted.  He wasn’t sure what he thought of Gabriel’s idea.  The premise certainly seemed sound and it should help Sam, but Castiel wasn’t sure he wanted a psychic bond between himself and the brothers.  He’d gone through a lot of trouble to keep his feelings for the both of them a secret.  It would be almost impossible to keep it such with a bond such as Gabriel was suggesting.

     Not to mention that bonds like that usually only worked if there was love involved.  He knew he loved the Winchesters, even if it seemed they saw no one but each other.  But for Gabriel to even suggest it…

     Cas looked away from Dean and looked at Gabriel.  Gabriel had an indecipherable look on his face.  His hazel eyes were hooded, but Cas saw what Dean hadn’t seen.  Gabriel hoped, as well.

     Castiel looked back to Dean.  “The premise is sound.  I can’t see any reason why it should not work.”

     Dean stared at Cas for a long moment then sighed deeply.  He looked back to Gabriel.

     “Okay.”

     Gabriel looked astonished.  “Okay?”

     Dean looked at Sam’s face and said, “I would do anything for him.  And being bound to you and Cas is way the fuck better than going back to hell for him.  I can live with it.”

     “Dean, what about Sam?  He is not able to make a choice.”  Castiel was staring at the restless Sam and his voice sounded distressed.

     “I think Sammy will be okay with it.  If it’s you and Gabriel.  I don’t think either of us could manage to trust another angel in this.  Certainly not gonna trust a demon.”

     Dean watched Sam’s face as he spoke.  Sam had always been more forgiving than he was.  And he couldn’t imagine Sam wanted to stay like this.  He’d tried damn hard not to mess with that damn wall any more than was necessary.

     Dean looked at Gabriel.  “How does this work, this psychic bond thing?”

     “Castiel and I will have to mark both you and Sam.”

     “Like the hand thing from when Cas pulled me out of hell?”

     Gabriel nodded.  “Except this won’t just be a physical mark.  It will have to be soul deep for it to help Sam.”

     Dean tensed a little and his eyes widened slightly.  “So it’s not just a psychic bond, it’s a soul bond.”  Dean’s words were slow, hesitant.

     Gabriel nodded again, but didn’t say anything.  It was up to Dean now.  Sam’s sanity, Castiel’s heart and his…nope, not going there.  Just not.

     Dean ran his hand over his face again.  He stared hard at Sam.  Then he looked at Castiel.

     “Are you okay with this, Cas?”

     Castiel flicked a glance between Dean and Sam then nodded his head.  “I am all-right with this, Dean.  I will do anything I can to help Sam.”

     Dean looked at Castiel in consideration.  Then he shook his head and looked at Gabriel.

     “How do we do this, then?”

 

\--- -- --- -- ---

 

     Dean watched Sam sleep.  He’d stopped his restless stirring and had even half-woken up briefly after the bonding.  Enough that Dean had helped him up to the room they shared at Bobby’s.  He hadn’t wanted to leave Sam in the panic room any longer than he had to.  Sam had some pretty bad memories of being in there.

     At least in their room there was enough space to crawl into the bed and wrap himself around Sammy.  He hadn’t wanted to before, fearful that in Sam’s mental state he wouldn’t respond well to the physical contact.

     Cas and Gabriel had stuck around till he got Sam situated then had disappeared off somewhere.  Dean could still sense them, just not as painfully clear as it had been when they were both in the same room.

     This bonding thing was weird as fuck.  Dean wasn’t used to feeling more than just himself in his own mind.  Of course, the bond was still pretty damn new.  He supposed he would get used to it eventually.

     Right now it was helpful because he could _feel_ Sam.  Could feel that he wasn’t lost in hell memories.  That he was just sleeping and not in a trauma-induced coma.  Dean wasn’t sure what it would feel like once Sam woke up, but right now it was nice.

     Dean was trying to figure out how to tell Bobby everything that was going on.  He was out right now, helping a hunter in trouble.  He hadn’t wanted to leave because everything had just gone down with Raphael and Crowley and Sam’s wall.  Dean took a lot of satisfaction at the memory of Sam and Cas shoving the angel bastard into the open Purgatory gate.  Crowley had managed to escape in the confusion, so they still had to hunt that son of a bitch down, but Raphael was no longer their problem.

     But they weren’t going to be able to hide this from Bobby.  He knew them too well.  They hadn’t even been able to hide the fact that they had become lovers from Bobby.  Not that they hadn’t tried.  They had, damn hard.  But he’d figured it out.  He’d been a little disappointed at first, but he hadn’t disowned them.  He just didn’t want any details.

     Dean was fine with that.  Bobby really didn’t need to know the particulars of Sam and Dean’s love life.  Dean didn’t want to **share** the particulars with Bobby.  That would have been too freaking weird.  But it did at least allow them to share the same damn bed when they were at Bobby’s.  Sam and Dean both didn’t really like to sleep without the other.  Two separate trips to hell had a way of doing that.

     Dean reached out and gently brushed the hair away from Sam’s face.  Then he leaned over and kissed him softly on the forehead.  When he pulled back he was surprised to see Sam’s green-hazel eyes open slowly.  It took a minute for Sam’s eyes to focus on Dean’s face, but when they did he smiled softly, dimples appearing.

     “Dean.”

     “Sammy.  You ok?”

     Dean just barely kept himself from grabbing hold of Sam and not letting go.

     “Yeah.  I think.  My head feels funny, and I keep getting images from the cage pass through, but, yeah, I think I’m okay.”

     Then Sam frowned a little looking puzzled.

     “Um, Dean?  How come I can feel you in my head?  And why do I know Cas and Gabriel are gonna be here soon?”

     Sam’s green-hazel eyes looked bewildered.

     Dean looked a little sheepish.  “Yeah, um, about that.  It’s kind of like this…”

 

\--- -- --- -- ---

 

     “Gabriel, I don’t understand why you suggested such a solution to the Winchester’s problem.”

     Castiel and Gabriel stood in the middle of a forest half-way around the world.  Neither of them wanted to go to Heaven, not when they weren’t sure of the reception.  But Gabriel knew if he didn’t talk to Cas sooner than later Cas would probably blab something in front of Sam and Dean.

     “I’m just trying to help you out, bro.  You’ve got it pretty bad for those brothers.  Now maybe you have a real shot.”

     Gabriel grinned at Castiel.  Cas cocked his head and stared at Gabriel.

     “I do not think you are being entirely honest with me, Gabriel.  You have never been selfless before.  You only do things when there is something for you in it.”

     Gabriel grimaced.  “Castiel, you wound me!  Can’t an angel change?  What’s the harm in helping you out with the brothers Grimm?”

     Cas frowned at the reference, then shook his head.  He wanted to know what Gabriel was up to.  He wanted to be sure that Gabriel wasn’t planning to harm the Winchesters.

     “Tell me you do not mean them harm, Gabriel.  I won’t let anyone hurt them, even you.”

     Gabriel looked at Castiel, his hazel eyes glinting dangerously.

     “Are you trying to tell me what to do, Castiel?  ‘Cuz that doesn’t usually work out well.”

     “I am saying I will protect them against anyone, even you.”

     Castiel’s blue eyes were fierce and met Gabriel’s hazel one’s without hesitation.  Cas wouldn’t let even Gabriel harm Sam and Dean if he could at all control it.

     The two angels stared at one another for a long, long moment.  Gabriel broke the stare first, a slight slump to his shoulders.

     “I’m not gonna hurt them, Castiel.  I swear.”

     Gabriel’s voice was tired, almost defeated, and it surprised Cas that he could hear pain and loneliness braided into the words.  The fierceness drained from his blue eyes as he contemplated Gabriel’s defeated posture.  He recalled the look of hope hidden deep in Gabriel’s eyes in the panic room.  And came to his own conclusion.

     “I am not the only one who loves them, am I, Gabriel?”

     Gabriel flinched a little, but he wouldn’t look at Castiel.  He did laugh a little, a laugh with little humor in it.

     “I suppose not, bro.  They do kinda grow on you.”

     “That is why you suggested the bonding.”

     Gabriel’s shoulders hunched a little more.  “I didn’t lie.  The bond will help Sam stay in reality.  You couldn’t do it alone, you aren’t an archangel.  And I doubt they would have accepted a bond with me without you.”

     “But there are other ways you could have helped Sam, aren’t there, Gabriel.”

     Gabriel was silent.

     Castiel stepped a little closer to Gabriel and hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder.  At the touch Gabriel looked at Castiel.  His hazel eyes were torn, and Castiel could feel the loneliness and longing in Gabriel.  It was so similar to his own.

      “We’ll work this out, Gabriel.  Somehow.  The important thing right now is to make sure Sam is all-right.  Once we know that we can figure out where to go from there.  I will not say anything to Sam and Dean.  But the bonding…it will be hard for either of us to hide anything from them.  You should be prepared for them learning the truth.”

     Gabriel looked away from Cas again, staring out into the forest.  He knew it was a risk, had known it was a risk from the moment he mentioned it to Dean.  But what, really, did he have to lose at this point?  Sam and Dean were the only ones he’d ever put himself in the position to die for.  If they weren’t worth the risk, who was?

     “We should get back,” Gabriel said, pulling out of his slouch.  “I think Sam’s gonna be awake soon.”

     Castiel nodded silently.  He pulled his hand away from Gabriel’s shoulder.  Deep down he hoped this would work out as Gabriel hoped it would.  If he had a chance with Sam and Dean he didn’t mind sharing with Gabriel.  Not knowing that Gabriel felt the same way about the brothers as he did.  He just hoped that Sam and Dean would come to see it that way.

 

\--- -- --- -- ---

 

     Sam stared into the bathroom mirror.  His shirt dangled from his fingertips as he gazed at the two new handprints on his body.  He had one that matched Dean’s on his right bicep.  Just above his jean’s waistband on the left there was a smaller handprint.  He frowned a little.

     Dean was standing behind him, and Sam could sense that Dean was starting to worry he’d made a mistake in assuming Sam would be okay with the bonding.

     “It’s not that, dude, just…give me a minute to adjust.”

     It was strange to feel Dean like he was feeling him.  Could catch random wisps of thoughts passing through Dean’s mind.  And further back in his mind he could sense two spots where Cas and Gabriel seemed to just…be.  If he reached out he could probably touch either one of them, but he didn’t do that.

     “It was the only suggestion Gabriel had to pull you out of the shit you were mired in, Sammy.  I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.”

     Sam turned away from the mirror and looked at Dean, who was also shirtless.  He’d showed Sam his marks before Sam got up to see his own.  Dean’s marks were a perfect mirror image of Sam’s.  Sam figured he’d probably be freaking out more if he hadn’t been through all the shit he’d been through the last couple years.

     Sam wrapped his arms around Dean.

     “It’s okay, dude.  Seriously.  I just wonder why Gabriel did it.”

     Dean hugged Sam back, resting his head on Sam’s shoulder.

     “Yeah, I know, I wonder about that, too.  But it seemed like less of a risk than anything else we’ve ever done for each other.  And I wanted you back, Sammy.”

     Sam could feel the fear that Dean had been trying to keep from him.  Yeah the empathy was going to take some getting used to.  Although Sam could immediately think of some good side benefits, like Dean not being able to hide how he was feeling.

     Dean pulled a little ways away from Sam and frowned at him.  “Could you not be calculating about this, yet?  I like being inscrutable.”

     Sam smiled.  “Yeah, you like to hide things from people who want to help you, is all.”  He kissed Dean lightly, then looked up and over to the window.

     “Cas, Gabriel.  I guess I owe you some thanks, Gabriel.”

     Dean turned in Sam’s arms and saw that the two angels had appeared in the room in front of the window.  Now that they were back in close proximity, Dean could feel them more intensely again.  It wasn’t painful, but it was confusing as all hell.

     Cas looked relieved and Gabriel smirked.

     “Nice to see you up and about, Sammy-boy.  You weren’t looking so good last time I saw you.”

     Dean rolled his eyes and stepped out of Sam’s arms.  Mostly because the bare skin against bare skin was starting to distract him and he wasn’t sure how he felt about the two angels over-hearing the thoughts he was having about Sam right then.  He picked his shirt up from the bed and pulled it over his head.  He could tell Sam was doing the same.  He also sensed fleeting disappointment, but it was gone so quickly he wasn’t sure where or who it had come from.

     Dean looked at Cas.

     “So what’s next?  We hunt down Crowley?”

     Cas looked at Sam who had moved out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed.

     “We might want to wait until we are sure how this will affect Sam.  Gabriel said it would help keep him rooted in reality, not that it would erase the memories.  We should probably wait and see how we all handle it.”

     Dean looked like he wanted to protest, but Sam said, “Fair enough.  It would suck if we were in the middle of a hunt and I freaked out or something.  I don’t want to put anyone in danger.”

     Dean looked at Sam and finally picked up on what he’d missed because he had been so glad Sam was awake.  There was a roiling, lightning laced darkness with flickers of flames inside Sam.  It was being held at bay at the moment, but Dean recognized the feeling of hell memories.  He had his own, after all.  He felt shame, as he always did when he thought of that period of time.

     Sam reached out and touched Dean’s arm.  “It’s over, Dean.  You did what you had to do to survive.”  Sam’s voice was soft and comforting and Dean fought with the instinctive urge to fight against that comfort.  Finally he nodded once, looking into Sam’s green-hazel eyes.

     Dean looked back at Cas.  “Okay, we can hang out here for a little while, see how this works.  But I want Crowley’s head on a pike.”

     Castiel nodded slowly, looking between the two brothers, and then looking at Gabriel.

     Sam sensed something pass between the two angels but couldn’t catch it.  But it made him wonder.

 

\--- -- --- -- ---

 

     Three weeks later found Sam and Dean finally packing their bags and getting ready to load the Impala.  They hadn’t had an easy time of it.

     Even with the bonding, Sam found himself trapped in his memories at random moments.  He’d started to figure out some of the triggers.  Mostly it was just managing to hold on to the bonds to Dean and Cas and Gabriel until he could see reality again.  Sleeping was not easy, his dreams often plagued by hellfire and torment.  Having Dean close helped.  Having Cas and Gabriel close, as well, helped more.

     Dean wasn’t exactly happy at the thought of spending so much time in close quarters with Cas and Gabriel if only because he liked to have Sam to himself.  But as much as he hated to admit it, he couldn’t help Sam deal all on his own.

     So they worked out a routine that kept at least two people with Sam most times.  It frustrated Sam because he couldn’t even take a walk around the salvage yard without being escorted.  But the last time he’d gone walking alone his hell memories had gotten triggered and it had taken Cas, Gabriel and Dean almost two hours to find him.

     The fact that Sam managed to hide from the angels had taken them all by surprise, and had distressed both Cas and Gabriel.  They still weren’t sure why, exactly, when Sam dropped into memories he seemed to defy all efforts to be found.  But because they knew it was possible, everyone was a little worried about Sam being alone.

     Bobby had taken the situation in stride.  Although he had eyed Cas and Gabriel for a good long moment after Dean told him what they’d done.  Gabriel had to fight not to fidget under Bobby’s gaze, wondering if this mere human thought he could fathom an archangel’s motives.

     They had also found that physical contact with Sam helped him to fight off or fight through the memories when they descended.  After three weeks Sam had stopped being startled when Cas or Gabriel touched him for longer than a moment.  He had to admit that it did help him a lot.  But he was also picking up a lot of other stuff from Cas and Gabriel.  And he really wanted to talk to Dean about it, but he wanted to talk without the two angels being right there.

     So this job came along at just the right time, Sam felt.

     Sam finished loading the Impala while Dean stood talking to Cas and Gabriel.  Sam was picking up worry from all three of them and he called out, “I’m fine right now.  Dean can call you if we need you.  We’ll meet you there, okay?”

     He pulled his head out of the Impala and looked at the three who were all looking in his direction.  He glared a little at them, then got in the passenger seat with a huff.  Yeah he was fucked up but he wasn’t a child.  He’d only had three weeks to adjust to this.  It would get better as more time passed.

     After a moment Dean got in the driver’s side.  He looked at Sam for a moment before he cranked up the Impala.  “We’re just worried about you, dude.  Don’t want anything to happen to you.”  He pulled away from Bobby’s house and headed for the road.

     “I know, but you can’t stay glued to my side forever.  I’m gonna have to start learning to deal on my own eventually.”

     “Just, don’t push it, Sammy.  Okay?”

     Sam sighed and nodded.  It was hard to stay angry when h could actually feel Dean’s concern, worry and buried deep down, fear.  He wasn’t used to knowing what Dean felt so clearly.  It kept throwing him.

     It didn’t kill the frustration, though.  Just mostly directed it at himself.  If he wasn’t so fucked up he wouldn’t need keepers.

     “Sammy, don’t go there.  It’s only been three weeks.  If I didn’t think you were okay enough for a job we’d still be at Bobby’s.  Okay?”

     Sam sighed heavily.  “Fine.”  He stared out of the window for a while, just watching the scenery before remembering what he had wanted to talk to Dean about.

     “Hey, Dean?  Have you noticed anything about Cas and Gabriel lately?”

     Dean threw a glance at Sam.  “What do you mean?”

     Sam frowned.  “It’s just…I’ve been picking things up from them.  It’s weird.  I think…”  Sam’s voiced trailed off into silence.

     “You think what, Sammy?”

     Dean’s voice was a little defensive and Sam looked at his brother.  He could sense he sudden tension Dean was feeling and realized he wasn’t the only one who had been picking things up from the angels.

     “I think you know what I think,” Sam said, slowly.

     Dean was silent.  Sam watched him chew on his bottom lip.  He could feel Dean thinking fiercely, even if he couldn’t tell exactly **what** Dean was thinking.  He did know it had to do with the angels who had been spending an awful lot of time with them.  Sam was pretty sure at this point that while they would have done as much for him anyway, Gabriel and Cas weren’t hanging around just to help him stay stable.

     “Dean, we aren’t gonna be able to ignore this.”

     “What are we supposed to do about it, Sammy?”

     Dean sounded frustrated, but Sam was picking up more than just frustration.  He wondered if Dean could feel the same things from him.  They both certainly seemed to be feeling the same.  Which was lucky for them, Sam thought.  This whole situation had the potential to become a big mess otherwise.

     “Just so we know we’re on the same page, we’re both talking about Cas and Gabriel having feelings for both of us, right?”

     “What else would we be talking about?”

     “Just wanted to be clear.  And if what I’m picking up from you is accurate, we’re both feeling the same things about it.”

     Dean kept his eyes glued to the road in front of them.  There was a defensive set to his shoulders.  Sam knew Dean would rather not talk about it, but they needed to talk about it while they had some time away from the angels.

     Sam decided to just be direct.  Beating around the bush was just gonna make Dean more antsy and hard to talk to.

     “Do you want our relationship to include Cas and Gabriel?”

     “Sam!  I don’t even know if I like Gabriel.”

     Sam smirked.   “Right.  You keep telling yourself that, if it helps.  But we’re bonded now, remember?  I can tell that’s not the truth.”

     Dean glared at Sam.

     “Come on, Dean.  Just talk to me, man.”

     Dean heaved a heavy sigh, shot Sam a look and focused back on the road.

     “Fine, I may have thought about it…a little.”

     “And what did you think about it?”

     Dean fidgeted some and gripped the steering wheel tighter.  Sam just waited patiently for Dean to spit out the words.

     “I wondered if it could even work,” Dean finally said.  “I mean, they’re angels, Sam.  We haven’t had a great track record dealing with angels in the past.”

     “Yeah but that was different, Dean.  We weren’t dealing with angels who were in love with us.”

     “Why exactly are we talking about this now?”  Dean’s voice was plaintive and Sam could feel how uncomfortable Dean was with all the talk of feelings and stuff.

     “I just think we should figure out what we’re gonna do about it.  That’s all.”

     Dean was quiet.  He glanced at Sam a couple of times before finally asking, “What do you think we should do about it?”

     Sam grinned.  “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

\--- -- --- -- ---

 

     When Sam and Dean finally checked into the motel it was dark.  They worked quickly to unload their things and carried them to the motel room.  Once inside Dean dropped his duffle on the small table in the room and Sam wandered over to the king-sized bed.  He set his duffle down on the bed and turned to Dean.

     “Do you want to call them, or should I?”

     Dean stared at Sam for a long moment.

     “Are we sure about this?  I mean, is this really a good time to try expanding our relationship?  You’re still having to deal with unexpected check-outs.”

     “I think that’s another good reason to do this.”  Sam paused then walked over to Dean.  He wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist and pulled him close.

     “Do you not want this?”  Sam’s voice was soft as he gazed deep into Dean’s green eyes.  He could feel uncertainty in Dean but he wasn’t sure why it was there.

     Dean looked down then back up into Sam’s green-hazel eyes.  He swallowed hard and Sam knew his brother was struggling against his instinctive desire not to talk about his _feelings_.

     Dean leaned his head against Sam’s shoulder.  “I want this.”

     “For you or because I want it?”  Sam was sure he knew the answer, but he wanted to make sure.  Wanted Dean to be sure.  Otherwise this wouldn’t work.

     Dean was quiet for a long moment.  Finally he said, “I feel something for them, Sammy.  Something strong.  I want them to stay close to us, to not leave.  The thought of them not being with us…it hurts almost as bad as the thought of losing you.”

     Sam was impressed by Dean’s low-voiced confession.  He wasn’t usually this open about what he felt.  Sam usually had to badger him relentlessly to get him to talk about things.  Based on what he was picking up from Dean, he also thought he might have an idea of where the uncertainty was coming from.

     “Dean, you aren’t going to lose me.  I’m not choosing anyone over you.  This is about adding to our relationship, about sharing what we have.”

     Dean slowly pulled back a little and looked at Sam.  Sam was surprised at the fear and relief that were warring with each other in Dean’s eyes.  Unable to resist he leaned down and kissed Dean softly.

     When he pulled away, Dean said, “You promise?”

     Sam hesitated.  He was reluctant to promise something when their lives were so often in danger.  He was scared to promise something he might not be able to follow through on.  But this was Dean, and he loved him and he would be there for as long as it was possible.

     “I promise, Dean.”

     Dean stared into his eyes and sighed softly.  The fear faded away.  Sam could still sense nervousness, but that was understandable.  Sam felt nervous about this, too.  But it felt right to him.

     The question was would Gabriel and Cas feel the same way.

     Sam asked again, “Do you want to call them, or should I?”

     “I’ll do it.  I’m actually surprised they aren’t here already.”  Dean’s voice was wry and a little humor entered his eyes.

     Sam laughed a little and let Dean go.  Dean walked to the center of the room.

     “Um, Cas?  Gabriel?  We’re at the motel so you guys can show up now.”  Dean was always awkward when it came to calling the angels.

     Sam sensed their approach just before they materialized in the room.  Cas looked as solemn as usual.  Gabriel cracked a smile.  Sam could feel relief from him that he was clearly trying to hide.

     “You boys finally made it!  Thought you’d be on the road forever.”

     Gabriel looked back and forth between Sam and Dean.  Cas noticed the tension first.  He looked at Sam in concern, but Sam could feel something more than concern behind his blue-eyed gaze.

     “Sam, did something happen on your trip here?”

     Gabriel sobered up fast and appraised Sam carefully.  He met Sam’s eyes for a moment before quickly looking over at Dean.

     “Well, actually Dean and I wanted to talk to the two of you about something important.”

     Now that the moment was actually here, Sam found he was way more nervous than he thought he would be.  Cas and Gabriel were _angels_.  Why would they want to tie themselves to two humans?

     Except…they already had, with the marks and the bonding.  Sam could feel that the bonding was permanent, something that couldn’t be broken.  He didn’t know if the two angels had planned on it being permanent, but he somehow knew it was.

     Cas and Gabriel both tensed up and Sam felt a welter of emotions swirl through them both.  He looked at Dean and raised an eyebrow.

     Dean approached the two angels hesitantly.  Gabriel looked at him warily.

     “We’ve noticed, me and Sam, that the two of you seem to feel something stronger than friendship for us.  We wanted to know if what we were picking up is accurate.”

     Cas looked stunned and glanced towards Sam.  Gabriel looked defensive, but Sam could sense a little defeat in the archangel.

     “What exactly do you think you’ve been picking up from us?”

     Gabriel’s voice was just as defensive as his posture and Sam had a sudden desire to do something to ease him, comfort him.  He walked slowly over to where the other three were standing.  He stopped in front of Gabriel.  Gabriel looked up at him, his hazel eyes hooded.

     “You and Cas, both of you love both of us.  Not friendship love or family love.”

     Cas blinked and Sam felt a surge of fear from him.  Dean reached out and touched Cas’s arm.

     “It’s okay, Cas,” Dan said gently.  Cas stared into Dean’s green eyes in astonishment.  Whatever reaction he had expected when the Winchesters discovered his and Gabriel’s feelings for them, this didn’t seem to be it.

     “If it’s true, me and Dean, well we wanted to ask you if you both wanted to…well, be with us.  Like as part of our relationship.”

     This time it was Gabriel who looked astonished.  Shocked.  He looked back and forth between Sam and Dean and then his hazel eyes hardened.

     “Ha ha, very funny guys.  Is this fuck with the angels night?”

     Sam grabbed Gabriel’s arm and placed his palm on Gabriel’s cheek.  Even though this was the first time he’d touched Gabriel like this, it felt natural.  It felt right.  It eased something deep down inside him, something Sam hadn’t even been aware of being tensed.

     Gabriel froze like a deer in headlights, his hazel eyes wide, open and vulnerable.

     “We aren’t fucking with you, Gabe.”  The nickname rolled out without Sam’s conscious thought.  “We mean it.  We want you and Cas.  We want you both with us.”

     There was a gasp and Sam looked up to see Cas in Dean’s arms, his face buried in Dean’s shoulder.  Dean was holding him tight, his face a little awestruck.  Sam could feel Dean’s surprise, could feel tenderness for the angel he was holding in his arms.

     Sam looked back at Gabriel, who was still staring at his face.  A surge of hope, of longing, of loneliness and of love almost swamped Sam.  He leaned down and kissed Gabriel, needing to answer that surge of emotion.

     At first Gabriel didn’t respond, shocked into stillness.  Then suddenly he was kissing Sam back, fiercely, as though he were going to devour Sam’s lips, his mouth, his soul.  He could feel Gabe’s desire running under the swell of emotions and felt an answering desire in himself.  It’s strength took Sam by surprise.

     When the kiss finally broke they stared at each other with wide eyes, as though they had never seen each other before.  Then Sam glanced over to Dean and Cas.  Dean was kissing Cas’s jaw and whispering to him.  Sam looked back at Gabe.

     “Is that something you and Cas want?  To be with us?”

     Gabe suddenly smiled, his face lit from within with a happiness Sam had never seen on his face before.

     “I would love that.”  His voice was different from his usual brash smart-ass tone.  It was gentle and tender and awed.  They both turned to look at Dean and Cas.

     Dean pulled back a little to look into Cas’s eyes.  “What about you, Cas?  Do you want to be a part of this?”

     Cas stared at Dean then looked over to Sam and Gabe.  His blue eyes studied Sam’s face and Sam felt a surge of longing from Cas, similar to what he’d felt from Gabe.  He looked back to Dean and nodded his head.

     “I would like to be a part of this, yes.”

     Sam felt relief rush through him.  He had been a little scared that this would blow up in their faces.  After all, they were Winchesters.  Life had a way of fucking them over in a big way.

     But it looked like they had won this time.  Cas and Gabe were both feeling awe and happiness and Sam felt a smile appear on his face.  He looked back at Gabe, who was grinning.  Dean laughed a little and kissed Cas.

     Gabe looked at Dean and Cas, then looked at Sam, then around the room and over to the bed.  He looked back at Sam and smirked.

     “You know that bed isn’t big enough for all of us, right?”

     Sam laughed and kissed Gabe.


End file.
